Sickly Chic

8 Sep

It’s every woman’s worst nightmare. Your name has been called from the hospital waiting room, and an overly friendly nurse is escorting you past the receptionist’s window. You wince as the nurse asks to “get your weight,” and then you enter the small, sterile examination room to find the most horrifying thing ever laid out on the exam table: a freshly bleached hospital gown.

There seem to be two varieties of hospital gowns – the paper variety and the cloth variety. Paper hospital gowns are often (a) see-through, (b) susceptible to rippling in half if you move a millimeter while wearing them, and (c) horribly uncomfortable and unattractive. Oh, and they’re hardly ec0-friendly. Cloth gowns are more eco-friendly, but they are (a) always too big, (b) impossible to close properly, and (c) horribly uncomfortable and unattractive.

In short, they are an embarrassment to anyone who has to wear them, meaning, well, everyone.

Enter Diane Von Furstenberg, who has teamed up with the Cleveland Clinic to make hospitals a bit more fashion-forward. Yes – the world famous fashion designer’s latest project is reinventing the hospital gown.

Call me crazy, but the designer label gowns leave me feeling a bit, well, queasy:

Where to start…

The colors are all wrong. Sea foam green and aqua? Seriously. And the busy print? Egads. Oh, and the cut – I get the v-neck concept, and I see that she was attempting to mimic the flexibility of the ever-popular wrap dress, but Diane Von Furstenberg should know better than to cut the “skirt” mid-calf (the most unflattering length possible). Plus, the gowns have no shape, and do little do define one’s natural waist (which is the smallest part of the body, of course).


What would Tim Gunn say?


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